What is the single biggest competitive advantage in sports (and life)?

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Nelly Korda: I play my best golf when I'm Happy, Free Nelly

https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=27595280310065096

My mom and I were arguing. She said, "The best athletes are stoic. Just look at Jannick Sinner." I retorted, "Well, what about Alcaraz?" Her response: "He looks like a clown." It got me thinking, deeply. Can you be joyous while being competitive AND still be the best?

Let's hear what Nelly Korda, the GOAT of women's golf, has to say: "I play my best golf when I'm happy and free Nelly and kind of just joking around out there. When I want something too badly I have a tendency to just stiffen up."

This "stiffening up" is what Alan Watts calls "wu-wei" and we've talked about this in previous Monday Minutes. The concept that when you want something so badly the opposite occurs. Compare that to this spiritual practice: "Do not be concerned with the fruit of your action. Just give attention to the action itself. The fruit will come of its own accord."

If you follow me at all you know Kristin and my motto is pickleball is joy. But you also know that I am a FIERCE competitor who can go from laughing after being hit in the shoulder, to slapping my paddle against my leg so violently it leaves a red, angry mark for the next 3 days, to a myopic focus so intense my whole worldview seems to shrink to a pinhole through squinted eyes. These are not oxymorons. And under these rivers of emotion run the same current:

1. Have fun

2. Be free

3. Don't confuse your goal and your purpose

4. Do your best, that's all you can do- the fruit will come of its own accord

So what is the single greatest competitive advantage?

Brad Stulberg, an expert on excellence, says that having fun is the greatest competitive advantage there is. "Intensity and joy can coexist, and in the best performers, they almost always do."

Can it really be that simple? Have fun? This seems as prosaic as when I ask my students to warm up with 0 tension in their hands, shoulders, and forearms and they look at me like, "uh, I just paid $750 for that?"

But the more I compete, the more I am convinced that joy and intensity are two sides of the same coin--not opposites.

Let's go back to Alan Watts for a second: he compares life to music. Instead of a journey with a final destination like a pilgrimage, he argues life is an "eternal now" meant to be played, sung, or danced to. The point of music isn't to reach the final chord; the point is the music itself. I want to play pickleball; I want to play life.

So Mom, if that makes me a clown then hand me the oversized shoes.

But shouldn't greatness be something achieved through immense suffering? Isn't that everything we are taught from toddlers through adulthood?

The more I compete the more I think suffering is over-rated. When I worked in real estate I'd wake up at 5:00 am, hit the gym by 5:45 am, and was in the office every morning by 7:00 am. I didn't love it. And it was the same when I worked in tech.

But I told myself that success was suffering. That the richer and more successful someone was was only indicative of how much shit they had eaten in their lives. How much they must have sacrificed to be great.

Wrong wrong wrong! Bad Jilly!

Now, I think of Naval Ravikant, "Find what feels like play to you but looks like work to others. You'll out compete others effortlessly because you’re doing it because you enjoy it. You have flow, it’s beauty, it’s art, you love it. They don’t. So you’ll inherently be more successful."

"No one is going to beat you at being you" - Naval

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/PqOvmh4KSkM

"CRINGE", "I hate her", "She's THE WORST". These are some comments on the above video the APP made about me. Don't get me wrong--there are also positive comments. And the truth is this:

I can't stop being me. Loud, competitive, playful, fierce. And I don't think I should. Yes, I scream "OUT" and look my opponent dead in their soul when they blast a ball into the fence. Yes, I also laugh when they bodybag me on the next point. I am who I am, and no one--and I mean no one is going to beat me at that. Nor will they you.

And I find tremendous comfort from my students who come up to me, especially women, and say "thanks for being you. Because I also play my best fiery even when other players castigate me for doing so."

I also try and put myself in the haters' shoes. Their comments say "cringe" but what they mean is, "You can't be you because I haven't been me".  I feel for them, I really do. Because my anti-conformity stands in flagrant disregard to the contract they made with society to comport in a certain manner. It is infuriating and offensive for me, or you, to break the rules they have followed their entire lives.

So what do I think? I think you (and I) should live offensively, play offensively, you do you. Because no one will ever beat you at it.

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ALL 2026 CAMPS SOLD OUT EXCEPT BAJA (12 MORE SPOTS), and Cayman! Expect a 2027 calendar soon :)

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THE NEW THRIVE IGNITE ELONGATED IS OUT AND I'M OBSESSED WITH IT!

Full foam meets everything you loved about the best-selling FURY. I just got mine in the mail literally yesterday and I played a local tournament last night with it. Yes, day 0 and I played a tournament and it is the best paddle I have, ever ever tried in my entire life. I make balls from the mid court that I have ZERO business making. I touch the ball, I make the ball with this paddle. They are on pre-order now and will not last--use code JILLYB. Oh, and I may or may not have a signature paddle in a signature color scheme (ANY GUESSES?! 🌈) coming out in the elongated Ignite SOON.

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Try this drill and concept from our 4.0+ camp last week!

“Break ankles, not hearts”

• 90% of your errors in pickleball will be unforced: 

  • 50% will be trying to be too perfect and missing in the net. (In the warm up for today we focused on MAKING balls and the player who missed the least amount of balls in 15 minutes received a free signed paddle!) Congrats Melissa Barlow :)

  • 50% of your unforced errors will be overhitting (missing wide or out).

  • If we remove these two types of misses and re-wire your mentality to what I call a "5.0 MAKE BALLS mentality", you will instantly level up .25-.50 with no changes to your technique - just your beautiful brain.

• Rest of today there is only 1 rule in the camp: I do not want you hitting the ball harder than 50% speed, all day long, unless it’s on a “2” of the 1-2 combo.

• Drill: Play 4 person kitchen games, but no one can hit ball harder than 50% (must win by "breaking ankles, not hearts").

  • Keep each other honest, tell each other if you thought someone was hitting the ball harder than 50% speed 

• If this drill feels hard to you–to essentially not hit the ball hard–it means you lack ball control. Which means you lack HOLD. 

• While doing this drill, remember your three dinking targets (corner, corner and left foot of the right side player). Too many of us are hitting purposeless dinks (and drops) to the left side players forehand.

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Have a question for Jilly B? Email us at jillybcamps@gmail.com

Xoxo,

Jilly B